An emotional skill is an absolutely critical skill because we have more than 400 emotions every single day whether we are aware of these experiences or not. If every emotion is unfiltered into action, the consequence is that a person can be perceived as angry, impulsive or unreliable.
Even when we are doing better in understanding things like mindfulness, compassion and resilience, the increasing rate of distress is deeply rooted in the imprints we received as children around how to express feelings and emotions.
The issue is the lack of Emotional Literacy that we have in our culture. It must be understood that emotions happen in a split of seconds, we need to rationalize it and cannot let them dictate you. It can really drive the bus if you let them do that. Emotional intelligence is vital for the success and fulfillment of a person.
We somewhere value IQ more than EQ. EQ is distinct from IQ. IQ is generally inborn, whereas emotional intelligence is the pathway between your emotional and rational brains that is highly flexible. It can respond to change and be modified
“When awareness is brought to an emotion, power is brought to your life”.-Tara Meyer Robinson
We live in a world that doesn’t necessarily teach us what’s good for us. Children should be taught the ability to monitor and identify their own emotions so that they can choose to have emotional strength. So, let’s help our children understand Emotional intelligence.
People with High Emotional intelligence vs Low Emotional intelligence
| 1. Assertive | 1. Aggressive |
| 2. Patient | 2. Easily distracted |
| 3. Careful | 3. Bossy |
| 4. Sociable | 4. Stubborn |
| 5. Enthusiastic | 5. Resistant to change |
There are 4 steps for teaching children on how to manage their emotions.
Step 1:
Self-governance: Parents have to be working on their own emotions in order to upskill their children. That means that parents have to first decide to face their own beasts and make a plan on how to manage that. This will call for some serious introspection and efforts to express your emotions in front of the child.
Step 2:
Teaching them to avoid emotional vomit: To teach them the cause and effect of emotional unloading. We need to teach them on where and when to emotionally unload. They need to understand that consequences can be probably negative or it may have a wrong effect if they emotionally vomit what they feel.
Step 3:
How soon is too soon? : Start early! Having a certain time where the family discusses emotions and how to channelise them, it could be dinner table or bed-time conversations. This may help them have an open conversation about their emotions and how to conquer them. Teaching them to even disagree appropriately and not merely by sulking and putting tantrums and to learn to accept NO for an answer. This can help them eliminate unacceptable behaviour.
Step 4:
Prevent the child from gaining negative attention: Preventing yourself to give response to the child when the child is seeking negative attention is extremely important. Let the child analyse themselves and break down their actions. On the other hand, positive reinforcement can bring out the best in them.
Teach them to follow instructions:
- Accept No for an answer
- Be open to criticism
- Accept consequences
- Disagree appropriately
- Keep a calm face, voice and body
Did you like this article? Let us know, it would be our pleasure if you share your feedback, comments and suggestions with us. Follow the blog or our Facebook Page to receive regular updates of such articles.
Follow us on: https://www.facebook.com/SGVPInternationalSchool/
Learn more about SGVP at: http://www.sgvp.org
